Augusten Burroughs takes us back to his childhood with A Wolf at the Table, his latest memoir about the struggles, fears, and hardships he endured growing up with a father he hardly knew. His father was a man who simply didn’t seem interested in being a part of his son’s life, even up to the point when he takes his last breath.

Burroughs begins his memoir with an interesting format. He’s a young boy on the verge of his angst-ridden teenage years, and being pursued by his father in the woods behind their home. Burroughs makes a point to show that this isn’t a simple game of Hide and Seek, but a near life and death situation as far as he’s concerned. “If my father caught me, he would cut my neck,” he boldly declares, and keeps up the dark imagery comparing the beam from his father’s flashlight to a knife ready to slice him.

No, this isn’t Chapter One, but a brief passage that later shows up again in the middle of the book. This passage is very much like a teaser, giving us insight that while the first few chapters may be light-hearted and innocent, this memoir is anything but that. It’s also a sign that Burroughs is not about to hold anything back, and anyone who has read his other memoirs should not be surprised by this!

Try as he might, Burroughs has no first memory of his father- unless a shadowy dark figure on the stairs would count as a memory. By the time he was five, Burroughs was already being told his father was a dangerous person and it wasn’t safe to be around him. For a child, it’s hard to understand why their father would be considered to be such an unsafe person. Burroughs’s early adolescence is filled with mixed emotions about his father; all ranging from fear, anger, longing, and anxiety. An interesting combination, to say the least!

A Wolf at the Table is filled with Burroughs’ heartbreaking accounts of attempting to establish a relationship with his father. It’s sad to think that a young Augusten was so desperate for his father’s love that he went so far as to pretend to be a dog because he noticed the dog received more attention than him. Or creating a tally of how many times his father would push him away from sitting on his lap (Burroughs’s idea of an experiment). The relationship between Burroughs and his father is often referred to like a game, but a psychological one. Were this not a memoir, I wouldn’t hesitate in categorizing it as a physiological thriller.

In all fairness, Augusten Burroughs does devote a chapter to his father’s past and history. This mean, cranky, and abusive man did not evolve out of nowhere. It was John Robison’s (actual name) own troubled past that led him to become the malicious father we read about today. Granted, that isn’t an excuse for anything, but it provides a sense of balance to the story. There’s always a reason for everything.

One after another, after another, more harrowing accounts fill the memoir. The reader is presented with a true sense of sadness and even fear for Burroughs. How did someone who grew up in such a tumultuous environment turn out to be so sane and successful? For one thing, it’s willpower, which Burroughs certainly doesn’t lack any of!

A Wolf at the Table ends on a very emotional note. All his life, Burroughs has never quite understood what it’s liked to be loved by a father and have a father-son relationship. In a dingy storage room, he finally experiences this feeling. Not directly, but it’s enough to have a profound impact on any man’s life. Unlike some memoirs that end on a cliffhanger or with unfinished business, Augusten Burroughs has found some closure.

A Wolf at the Table. Author: Augusten Burroughs. Reviewed by Stephanie J. Page Count: 242. Published May 2008.